Where did April go?

So, it's been waayy too long since I made a post. I know this because it's been almost a month. People probably don't even remember I have a blog. That's probably good though, since there hasn't been anything on it. And, when it is, seriously, I'm not that interesting =)

Well I've officially been in Sioux Lookout (and on Katimavik) for 76 days, and our group is leaving to go to Montreal in 1 week, approximately. Even though I've come to call this place home, I'm excited to begin the next part of my journey. I'm not so excited to leave the place. Just a person. But I'll get over it. But thinking about it...wow. My journey is almost halfway done. It has just started to feel like I've been here a while, and now I'm leaving again. Time is weird on Katimavik. Trust me!

So, I'll give you some updates on all that I've been doing this past month (whoops, a whole month? Zara, you slacker)

- This weekend we have the group from Thunder Bay in Sioux Lookout for their excursion. Games, museum, sports, and tour today, Picnic and walk up Sioux Mountain tomorrow.

- Last weekend we went on our excursion to Winnipeg! It was such a cool experience. I definitely would like to visit that city again for a longer period of time. And without every second already planned! We went to the Annisinboine zoo, a Metis Cathedral, Kildonan Park, the Manitoba Museum and the Forks. As well as an Imax Theater. (Competencty 2 is cool when you can use it to get free Imax 3D movie tickets to Avatar. Yeaah.)

- I'm planning a summer camp. =\

- No billeting and no northern excursion. All fell through.

- Had a 1 month anniversary!

- Drum circles, pow wow's.

- Slept on the porch every night for about a month. Back out when Thunder Bay leaves. I'm going to miss that in Montreal.

- Got distracted from writing this and played minesweeper....er...no I didn't.

- and...y'know...bed! Well, there's lots more, but I really should remember to do this when I remember...eg, when it's not 2am! G'night world!

Love you all!
-Zara

"Stuff and Junk"

3 Weeks of solid administration will give you such a crick in the neck! (Or a pain in the, well, you know.) And, okay, I had two days outside the office during the week, but that's hardly enough. As it is, I now have a lot more in depth knowledge about what goes on behind the scenes of a business, and know for SURE I'm hiring someone for that part. On the upside, I now have two solid weeks of horseback riding, ropes courses, rock climbing and numerous outdoor activities with grade 5's to 12.

Needless to say...I'm pumped. =D

In the other news, the Katima-crew had a wicked Easter weekend. I could tell you stories...but..."what happens in the cabin, STAYYYS in the Cabin!" Except I managed to come away with a relationship with a frickin'amazing guy. Who woulda thunk? Me, in a relationship?! Happy with spinstership me? Eh. It still feels weird. But...wonderful. It was a week yesterday. Fin says a week into a relationship doesn't count, but I say screw it. I haven't had an anniversary in a while. Garanteed that I had to go more than halfway across the country to find it though, eh?

And I just have an awesome Katimavik group! The next 5...well, 4 months and 3 1/2 weeks is going to fly by!

We learned that instead of billiting, we are going up to a northern community and spending 10 days up there. It's going to be an amazing experience. We're spending part of our time in one of the richer reserves, and then in a very poor reserve. We find out when that is this week!

For our excursion, we're going to Winnipeg! Yeah man! Anyone have any suggestions for things to do there? They're gladly welcome. But they have to fit in with a compentency. :P (Like everything we do!)

The Katimavik group from Thunder Bay is going to come up in May, the last weekend before we have to leave, so, that should be a party. We're thinking of wonderfully awful games to play with them. Like KGB...blindfold strangers and drop them off at random spots in a town where they've never been and have 10 people who know the town like the back of their hand hunting them?
I think so.

Anyways...I have a ridiculously long lunch break today. I think I'm going to take some well deserved down time and read a book. =)

Love you all!
- Zara

A MONTH!?

Yes folks, it's just about right. In two short days, I will have been gone a month.

ONE MONTH.

In some aspects of course it feels a lot a lot a LOT longer, like in the cases of the people I'm with. I've only known them all for a month, but it feels like years for some of them. Helps when you live in the same house with someone, eh?

And, it feels like a lot shorter too. Like, I only left home a week ago, right? The time flies and stands still alternatively, but even the times that seem to stand still are gone way to fast. I'm 1/6 done my adventure. Hey! Slow down! (Yeah yeah, okay, all of you are going "NO! Speed up!" but we can't all get what we want)

So I'm trying not to take Time, Time, my fickle friend, for granted. Here's some quick recent updates!

1. 1 month!
2. Meeting with head honcho of the area (Project Co-ordinator) about excursions and about our Project Leader, who some people aren't getting along with so well.
3. New Member named Audrey! She seems to be fitting in well, but apparently doesn't like Sioux Lookout. It's creepy.
4. Started official French Lessons! The teacher is a riot. I'm having fun learning. Last night was our second one.
5. Potential fire in Sioux Lookout last night, so all the girls vacated to the guys house, and we had our first real all group sleep under one roof. Mel said "It's a preview of Montreal...without beds!" I dibsed the floor. So comfy...
6. Easter weekend is OFF! We're going to a cabin as a group to chill and explore :) Should be fun!
7. Oh right. I hurt my ankle. That's not news :P That's normal. Two torn tendons! But healing nicely.

I think that's all I'm allowed to put on the internet ;P I'm loving my job placement. I'm basically planning a summer camp for this summer. So fun :)

Back to work for me it is! Love you all!
- Zara

Oh...um...mom? You know how you said you DIDN'T want me to tell you something...like that I was pregnant....on my blog? So...can you call me? I have news.

House Manager Report

So, I've been way to busy to write anything! Which is awesome, it's all been fun. Hopefully I'll write something good here soon, but in the meantime, I'm house manager! So I made my first meal, along with my co-manager this week, Jessica, and it was a success! Not being a cook, I was very excited at for the way it turned out. I made Curry Squash soup...yummm! and Jessica made a bean salad that got turned into a chick pea salad. Still, so good! We also learned how to make bread and cookies today (the second of which I knew...but still, I don't mind cookies) and the bread was DELISH. I'm going to experiment. Anyways, for the rest of what I'm doing etc. here's a little expert from an email to my favoritest brother.

First of all, I got the job I wanted! Yeehaw! So what we had to do was get a whole bunch of info about these jobs, then we were to pick 3 and get interviewed for each one of them, then the employers would pick which ones they wanted, etc. So, we go on Wednesday to see which ones are avaliable. (monday and tuesday was Bimwaadamazin...or something like that...conflict resolution training with the hospital here "Meno Ya Win")

So first one we go to is called NewVu, or New Vision...and...so it's pretty much what I want to do with my life, kind of thing. They're running a business doing camps for kids with a slew of outdoor activities and then tons of different programs that sound amazing, including 4 day long camping trips (that I might go on) for grade 8's to get them ready for high school in a white school, since most of the population is First nations. (which is super cool! It's going to be strange after 3 months of this to see a primarily white population) and lots of other fun little things. And...It was mine as of him telling us about it. Also with this job I'll get to work with most of the other businesses in the community, which I think is perfect to get a wide variety of experiences.

I like most of the people here most of the time. =)

All for now! Sleep needs to be had. I'm going jogging at 7am. Then going back to sleep :)

Love you all!
Zara

House Manager Report

"Reppin' thug life hard in the Sioux."

Hey friends!

So, here I am in Sioux lookout, I've been here for 5 days! My group is amazing. Long flights and travelling - I'm 5 hours from Thunder Bay, and that was after a day of travelling in planes...but met everyone.

Lazy day. We folded flyers then delivered them around town. Chilleedddd... :D

Then we went BACK to Thunder bay for Orientation, which was long... but! we got to see everyone in the groups that are in the area, and met tons of awesome people. One of the guys in my group plays basketball and he found a net and a ball, so we played some shooting games. Yaaay! Slept on the floor, then went to the thunder bay house and watched "Bon Cop Bad Cop" with the other group. C'etait tres bon. ^.^ (Melanie told me how to write that)

We haven't started jobs yet, we're learning about them and doing a conferance about conflict negotiations today and tomorrow. Still so busy.

Love you all!
- Zara

Leaving forever.

So, finally, we are almost to the event that originally prompted me to start my blog. Another adventure!

This one; Katimavik
Leaving; Wednesday, March 3rd 2010. Or in 2 days, 4 hours and 57 minutes. (1:03am on Monday, currently)
Duration; 6 months. And I've already told you my destinations in my last post, so, you know, if you've go initiative you can go read that.

I'm not nervous yet, it still hasn't really sunk in that I'm leaving. And, I have hardly any concept of time, so 6 months is spanning from a life time to a few weeks in my head. Who knows what it will end up being, but fun, for certain. I started to feel the first pangs at my birthday though, last week when everyone started leaving.

That was when my head said, "Hey, wake up, you're probably not going to get to see most of these people for half a year." But it was fleeting. I'm back to being my cold hearted self and telling everyone I'll miss my dogs the most. (Probably true. I asked Foster today who would give me puppy cuddles when he's not around. He didn't know either.)

But I'm packing away! Lots of last minute stuff to do...not to mention my still busy social life. (Secret to seeing all the friends you never see...tell them you're going away for long periods of time a lot!) And, of course, not to mention, sleep! Mon yeux ai...starting...a shut! (Yeah, the French needs work...)

Bon soir!

I have sailed the world, beheld it's wonders...

Neat points of recently happens.

- Sweeny Todd again. I love the soundtrack. Except what's with creepy stalker men being romantic? "I'll STEEEEAAALLLLL YOUUU....Johannnaaa....I'll steeeeaallll youu...Do they think that walls can hide you? Even now I'm at your windowww"
I love the song. But honestly kid.

- Discussion with a random guy at work about how we both didn't want cell phones, and turned them off as much as possible. Except he can't as much, because it's for work. Poor thing. Also at work; Compliment on my fruity pants, and huge knitted curling sweater. Awee yeah.

- Din't come home when I was asked. Oops.

- Got some joy joy joy joy down in my heart. The deep contentedness that doesn't go away even when pardon the language s**t happens! I didn't care. So so happy. The not coming home and kind of fight about that made it "whoooshhh...Nice to see you again..." out the window, but I went swimming today and it brought it back *sigh of contentment. You don't know how good it is to FEEL! And...swimming...=D

- Realization; I'm leaving in less than a month. Actually...26 days. People keep reminding me of things I'll be missing. Feck you >.> I kind of feel like I'm going into a 6th month coma. But I'll still have contact. Posting on here too! You'll get you live vicariously through me. :) Dates and places for those of you who, y'know, care :)

March 3rd - Leaving for Sioux Lookout, ON. Bit NW of Kenora.
May 26th - On to Ville Emard, Montreal, QE
July 21st - Alberton, PEI
August 18th - Home!

- And I ran into my door.

I never asked.

I've been writing two different posts for a few days now, and neither of them are posted yet. I've had an extremely busy few days, but still, that's no excuse. It's been a while. Here's a poem I penned last night. It isn't very good, but I've had the line, "I NEVER ASKED YOU TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME." (It sounds just like that in my head) in my head, for a while, so I had to do something with it. Enjoy it or don't. Your choice of course :)

I NEVER ASKED.

I never asked you to fall in love with me.
I never told you you could.
I never said it would be a good idea.

I think you misunderstood me.
(Most people do)
Because you did.
Someone is going to get hurt.
And it's probably you.

List.

A while a go at work I made a list of things that I like or think describe me. I'd really like to find it. But for now I'm going to add some that I just thought of. (I still can't find it. Hence why this is taking me so long.

Men's shirts.
Dog fur.
Adventures.
Colour.
Snuggling.
Good conversation.
Freedom.
Opinions.
Bare feet.
Water.
Imagination.
The middle of the night.
Laughter.
Music.
Long walks.
Acceptance.
Love.
Forward.
Hidden.
Spontaneity.
Pictures.
Writing.
Responsibility.
Layers.
Fun.
Unconventional.


To be continued....

A vauge smile is like painting a polar bear in a snowstorm. You get nothing.

The back of my head is purple! Or hair, rather. Yeah, I'm that intense, I have red and purple hair.

Perfection: Over or under-rated?
If you're striving to be perfect are you doing yourself a favour or missing out on imperfection? If that's all your in it for, are you objectifying life and viewing yourself as something to improve...or are you actually living it and being the person you are? I know there is room for improvement in a life, but if that's all it's about...is it really a life?

I know I improve myself, but it isn't always conscious. I do something, and I get better at it. I learn more, I understand more. But I do it in the course of my life. And I'm most certainly not trying to be perfect. I'm aware that the word doesn't exist on a grand scale. Someone might be the perfect person for someone, but they are not in the grand scheme of things, perfect. I would rather live imperfectly then strive for something that doesn't exist. Betterment of self, yes, perfection? No.

I don't know. I'm an imperfect person, and I'm okay with that. I like my imperfections. Life is full of them, so I figure why not embrace them. It's an adventure =) And hey, you can be perfect at everything. You do what you're good at! =)

Sunshine

Not in the literal sense of the word though.

I'm not sure why, but I like weird movies. I like "The Nightmare before Christmas" because of the romance aspect. I like "The Newcomers" because it's so lame and wooden. I like "Little Miss Sunshine"...and I can't describe why. I just do. And then I like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and movies that make me laugh. But those are normal, in a vague sense of the word. If I watch horror movies, I can forget them in the simplest ways. Last time I drew a picture of a rainbow and almost forgot that I had watched any movie, much less a horror movie, only 20 minutes before. Maybe I just have horrible retention. =)

Tonight I watched "Sunshine Cleaning" a movie about two sisters whose lives are falling apart, so they start a business cleaning up crime scenes. I really enjoyed it, because it was real, but my mom thought it was to sad. It wasn't a big hollywood deal, and it didn't turn out perfect at the end. But I think that's why I liked it. Real life is wonderful! Why do so many people need to escape from it with perfect princesses, happily ever after, and just happy? Happiness is only able to be had with sadness. That makes the little things so much better. I love little things. Light bugs. And lights in the fog. And mud. I love mud.

Also, mom thinks it's time to get off the computer. Dad wants everyone to know that he got a 170 bpm on his stress test today, just in case he gets hit by a bus tomorrow. (Mom keeps yelling at him for saying that.)

Quote of the day. We were all talking about how someone was pregnant but had a little scare. Dad and I were saying she shouldn't have told everyone she was pregnant before she was 3 months, and mom said to me, "Well, when you get pregnant you'll be so excited you'll want to tell everyone!"
My answer;
"Maybe not."

She kicked me =)

Coin Laundry!

So, I'm a pretty crazy all over the place chaotic person, that somehow can actually succeed at life, by my own definition. Maybe not by someone else's. Anyways, I like showing it, and often that explodes into my wardrobe. Lately, because of actually having to dress like a sensible person at work (though I've slipped some things by, like a bright orange skirt/pant that looks like I'm wearing flower petals. Ah yea'.)I haven't been able to show it off as much as I like to. So today I decided to. I described it to a friend as "All chaotic, bright, and funky with a bit of treasure and shine."

Also, I realized today that I need to remember that not everyone has skin that's a mile thick, like me. I haven't been offended, embarrassed, awkward or insulted in years, but today when I was out with two friends, one mistakenly offended the other with a joking comment, then the offended party acted cold, and I had no idea why! When I got home and asked if they were alright (via IM) they told me why. I was kind of flabberghasted. But it made me step back and think..."Oh yeah. Not everyone is totally outgoing and non-pulsed by any comment that could be taken offensively."

The way I think of it, it doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. Maybe the meant it offensively. Maybe they didn't. Will it matter in anything I do with my life? Should I let it affect me? No. So it won't. It's going to roll off my back with the river and get washed away. I wish I could go swimming. The river is my stress release. It really does wash it all away...<3

Anywho, skiing tomorrow! So bed...oh wait, it's tomorrow. Well, bed today. And skiing today! I love to ski!

Whoops.

So, this is a poem I wrote recently. It isn't my favourite (and when I say it, I kind of rap a bit of it...dawg...) but I'm a single by choice person...and a lot of my friends are getting engaged! Anywho, hope you enjoy it, or if not, I hope you have fun blatantly making fun of me. S'all good! (Post Script! "Whoops" is the name of the poem.)

Whoops.

Once I reached a certain age;
Lifetime commitments were selling like hot cakes,
Each one preaching that they hadn’t made a mistake.
Saying “Oh honey I pity you, you haven’t found a man yet.”
Well maybe one just isn’t needed in my plans yet.

Once a certain age reached me;
My friend just called me up to say the spouse has done a dirty deed.
Lately this seems to be an all too reoccurring theme.
Crying, saying “Honey I can’t handle all this trust theft.”
Even though I’m all alone, am I the only one with hope left?

Certain reached age once, me;
I see a group of people being 7 kinds of cynical,
Not realizing that one “lifetime commitment”, minus both those words, the pinnacle,
Saying, “Full of this and never that, honey, I’ll never love again. I fell for such a heart trap.”
While I’m still waiting patiently just find out where my heart’s at.

"Today was a goood day."

I was in Portugal a while. Here are some more "What I learned todays!" If you'll pardon the repetition.

Sunday, Oct 4 - Portugal, Albufeira
Everyday is a good day. "Today was a good day". I don't like tours or time limits. I like history. I need someone to talk to other than mom or see someone I know. I don't miss anyone 'cept my boys. The time feels longer in Portugal, because we're going slower.

Monday (Seguda-feira), Oct 5 - Albufeira/Lagos
Missing a train is not the end of the world. It's ALL perspective, so nothing is really not biased. I don't like using a computer when I'm rushed. I have more freedom issues and issues with rules than I thought. I miss my guitar, and I have a tan. I haven't hugged anyone since London!

Tuesday (Terca-feira), Oct 6 - Lagos
The shower here gets cold fast. I like to try out all the seats somewhere. I like couches. I miss music.

Wednesday (Quarta-feira), Oct 7 - Lagos
Sometimes I'm lethargic, or just need a day to relax. I'm dreaming a lot. I'm ready to have different company. My face doesn't tan. I like food. I wish I had a bogey board today.

Thursday (Quinta-feira), Oct 8 - Lagos
I like swimming in dresses. I don't appreciate flies in my hair. Mud in nice (there was really nice mud at the beach, so I made shoes) and it makes me happy. Jumping over things and going the wrong way is fun. ( I jumped over the wall (in my dress) instead of going through the door today)

Friday (Sexta-feira), Oct 9 - Lagos/Albufeira
Mom likes familiarity. Sometimes more money for faster is worth it (but public transport is always an adventure). I need food. I think of better things to do after the fact. Swimming under the stars <3

Things I learned today.

Sometimes I actually do keep a journal, and one of my favourite things to do in it is write down things I learned that day. Usually it's stuff I learn about myself, or just random things I liked about the day. So I'm going to put down a few of them. (I'll probably leave out some of the extra personal ones. Sorry, I know those are the faves ;) ) The Journal I found is from this Falls Europe trip.

Friday, Sept 25, London -
I appreciate imperfection - Girl with socks in high heels - I don't like when people thrust things in my face. Attractive men make me smile.

Saturday, Sept 26, London -
I like it when a man smells like food (that I like), I love Fall, I love to cuddle to much! I don't like having to eat the same brekkie days in a row. Weird things frigger moments, bad hip.

Sunday, Sept 27, London -
The most helpful person I've met in London was a lovely gentleman at the West Brompton tube station. Kids make me smile. I'm more spontaneous when I'm already doing something. Being out at night makes me more awake if I'm tired (being outside). I figured out why some cursive letters are what they are. I like boxer shorts. I feel like a gypsy in red and flowy things. When I want to do something, I should do it (like ask the guy w/the laptop if I could take his picture!)

Monday, Sept 28, London -
I can't meander, unless it's really pretty out and there are no people around. Otherwise I'm hopeless at it. If you travel, something you see will always remind you of something else. I am a social person who enjoys solitude. I have more fun when I'm silly. I like saying "steal" not "borrow", I don't like it when people ask "are you alright?" A lot. I AM.

Tuesday, Sept 29 London/Portugal -
You can laugh in your sleep, I did twice. I'm scared to speak French, affirmation that I come alive at night. If I think to much before I sleep; I don't. I love my friends. The pillows in Portugal actually DO feel like bags of lumpy potatoes - HILARIOUS. I like Portugal. Lots of stray dogs

Funny Expert. Mom - "Do you think the dogs here are like the sacred cows in india? "
Me - "What, you can't eat them?"

Wednesday, Sept 30 Portugal, Albufeira -
Weird looking oranges taste good. I appreciate gentleman - an old man tipped his hat at me. I have a very good sunburn.

Thursday, Oct 1, Portugal, Albufeira -
I ask a lot of questions, I haven't seen a female lifeguard yet and I'm not sure whether to be offended or take advantage of the opporunity. A little adventure makes me want more (parasailing today, next is hang gliding!) My nose is red enough to mistake me for the drunks last night.

Friday, Oct 2, Portugal, Albufeira -
It's fun watching other people have fun. The waves are your friends, but sometimes they're bullies and known you down. I ask a lot of questions no one that I know knows the answer to, and I should figure them out. I get more tired when I'm writing if I'm writing about my emotions.

Saturday, Oct 3, Portugal, Albufeira -
My teeth are not substitutes for nail clippers, either part. When the manager talks to you, you feel important. Ocean is joyful, playing waves. I crave salt and crunch. How can you crave salt when you're swimming in an ocean every day?

Okay, this is super long. I'll continue another time :)

Comments, concerns?

Portuguese Observations.

No, unfortunately I'm not cool enough to actually speak (or type) Portuguese...yet. But I was in Portugal this past fall, and after you spend the gorgeous sunny days hiking and swimming from sunrise until way past sunset with hardly any food (yay budgets!) you don't have a lot of energy for the nightlife. Hence, you think. I always do - It's rather dangerous - but you tend to write your thoughts down more. So here are a few thoughts, observations, and questions.

Before I got on the plane, we were talking about parenthesis'. My dad had read a lady's work who believed that if you put something in parenthesis, it wasn't important enough to write down, because it isn't important to you. I was thinking about it and came up with my own thoughts about it. Re: is regarding
Re: Parenthesis - It isn't that what is in parenthesis is unimportant to you - It just doesn't further the story while being a point of interest or clarification.

Thinking about what I would say if they asked me this question at security. I'm so clever.
Re: Question - Is there anything sharp or dangerous in your bag or on your person, miss?
Answer - Only my wit.

Part of my little blurb about me, this is a very real obsersvation/question. Being in a hot climate made me think of it.
Question - Does it take longer for an older person - who has lived in an extreme climate their whole life and hasn't traveled - to adjust to different temperatures than a younger person living in the same spot, or the same age person who has traveled?

Legit! Also, I'm sure the internet knows, but it's funner to ask...Hey, Mark, if you read this, wanna hit up Wikipedia for me? =)
Question - Where does the term "honeymoon" come from? (Was it like, a dude and his wife after they got married, and the dude said "Honey, come look at the moon!" but it was totally just a ruse to get her to bed faster because she was doing the dishes? This is my only explanation. )

I people watch a lot. Also, being in a climate where there ARE lots of tan and pale people, and you get to see copious amounts of them, it was hard NOT to notice. That's a lie. I'm observant.
Observation - Tan males look younger, while tan females look older. Pale females look younger, while pale males look older.

I hate math, but I love to count. This was on of my projects. I had buff legs after this trip.
Observation - In the Hotel Da Gale, there are 92 stairs to our room from the street level, and a total of 152 steps.

I hope this was sufficiently random enough for you! And I'm going to put in a picture just to make everyone EXTRA jealous that I was in Portugal...if I can find out how. =)

- Zara

(There's an "add image" icon. I love when things are labeled with pictures. Nice!)

You've got a point...but you can cover it if you comb your hair right.

So I dabble with words. Perhaps you could call that a writer, but all that I know is that I end up writing SOMETHING down every night. That's why I started this. I though, "Hey, someone might actually want to read my garbage!"
Most often ridiculous, random, questioning, rhyming and often with a dash of logic or thoughtfulness for a bit of seasoning, it might not be great literature, but...hey,

You do what you're good at.
- Zara